Each of us has had multiple experiences of receiving hurtful, disrespectful and "seething" comments from others through our lifetime. I don't know anyone who loves receiving these caustic and deeply stinging words but it happens all the time.
We can never control the words from another person yet we have full control of what we utter to others. Many refer to this as our "filter"
With all this said, here is my “Ah Ha” moment. We don't need to wait for the critical words from others or be anxious for when they may come because the greatest critic in the world is ourselves and we are hearing our messages 24/7/365. It's called our "self talk"
We have all seen someone on the street mumbling words aloud and we reference that person as "not all there", crazy or maybe disturbed. Yet the only difference between that person and us is the external volume of their voice.
The unconscious mind listens to the thoughts that ruminate all day long and minute by minute they create enormous changes within our bodies. Muscles will tighten, arteries restrict, hormones are released along with every system of the body being impacted beyond our awareness in a symphonic adaptation to the thoughts that we think.
This message is not new, nor is it New Age thinking. I bring this to your attention because it is rarely seen as a culprit to our healthcare circumstances.
There has been volumes written on our self talk – empowering words and thoughts that have been demonstrated to provide support, encouragement optimism and overall life enhancing changes to our physiology. Science has shown us that endorphins will heighten our mood, relaxation creates a parasympathetic impact to our nervous system leading to a calming response and there are so many more subtle modifications that go beyond our senses and therefore completely immeasurable. On the other hand, there is plenty of good science demonstrating how anger, aggression, bitterness and the inability to forgive, lends itself to hormone production and nervous system behavior that lowers our immunity and brings harm to our overall well being.
Our homework, for those who resonate with this message will gladly give consideration to the following questions.
- In my most authentic voice, as I take inventory, here are the five most often thought about voices in my head. (List them)
- Determine with all the humility and honesty that you can muster, answer this question. Are the thoughts that you consistently have "the wind under your wings lifting you to the goals aspirations and simply your best version of yourself"?
- What can I do daily to deliberately challenge those thoughts (because they won't go away by wishing) and what type of thoughts what I like to hear as often as those I speak currently?
- Finally, how would these newly defined scripts impact you emotionally, physically and alter your ultimate view of your future?
Action steps for change
- You must become aware and listen to your incessant voices and what they are saying. Most of us are so busy being busy that we have never even considered doing this.
- Once you hear the voice, address it, with kindness and directedness. "Dear thoughts you have been a part of me for as many years as I can remember. You initially started when I began comparing and competing with others. It was then that other authority figures in my life along with friends who began to doubt me and therefore I began to doubt myself"
- I will create a new script that I would love to hear and will keep this message with me daily. I will take it out and repeat it aloud three times daily. This new script is my deeply thought through message that honors me for my uniqueness, my skill sets and all the attributes that I am willing to allow myself to see.
- I will reclaim myself as competent, daring, loving and will consciously relinquish the disempowering emotions of jealousy, comparison and condemnation of others and myself.
So this is my intention. To resurface as my true self, untainted and with a clean slate of belief that I am capable of love, friendship, earnings at any level and a willingness to be a star that shines if only for myself.
More than anything physical, is my new view of myself as seen through my eyes and not the eyes of anyone else.
“You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years and get pats on the back as you pass, but your final reward will be heartache and tears if you've cheated the man in the glass “
Please accept this offer from me as an opportunity to resurface and re-create a healthier and happier you. We do not get a Mulligan on life. We get one shot to do it to the best of our ability. It is my hope that this gesture of introspection supports you, energizes you and allows you to see the gift that you are. Your JOB is to DO THE WORK.
Dr. Charles Berg